The Power Of Self Belief
Things were bad in my twenties. The time in your life when everything is supposed to be new and exciting, when you look your best physically but for me it was my darkest time.
My Dad had MS and my mum found it difficult to cope. My siblings were abroad and my youngest sister was just a baby. I felt stressed worried constantly abut my parents, how they would cope financially and physically too as my Dad got worse and needed a lot of help.
As I was the only sibling left in Ireland that was old enough to help the onus fell on me to help out in anyway I could. At the same time I was trying to hold down my first job and do well. I had spent years in a Catholic boarding school always feeling like the odd one out. My parents were not rich they worked very hard to pay for my education but I was surrounded by girls from much wealthier families and sometimes it was difficult to keep up with their lifestyles. Getting to college was the ultimate goal. At the time getting a degree in Ireland was the holy grail, you hadn't a hope of having a decent income without it and my parents knew it. So I worked hard and got my degree and went to work. But I was all over the place no self belief, no friends, no money, no family I could fall back on to help me out.
My main issue I believe looking back was that I was naturally a negative thinker, so was my mum so I reckon it just became normal for me to see the negative in everything and to see everyone as a threat. Looking back now I wish I could talk to myself and tell that 24 year old that all would be well and that I would be successful, that I would cope. You see I brought a lot of my issues on myself, my sheer lack of belief in myself meant that I came across as unsure of myself questioning everything I did, not really believing that I could do my job well. I was terrified of not fitting in, of looking awkward and not knowing how to behave, of not being cool.
I thought negatively and as such drew difficult situations to myself, had problems staying in jobs, did not have a good relationship with my work colleagues who probably saw me as a young silly unsophisticated girl from the country, who was not well traveled or well read and it showed and I knew it. It became a vicious circle, so the negative talk went round and round in my head until it almost drove me crazy. every small mistake at work or socially became amplified in my brain.
I didn't learn about the law of attraction until I hit 40 or so and a light bulb went off in my head. You are what you eat they said for years, but you are also what you think. Hard work will only take you so far, you have to be able to dream to believe in yourself or success will never be yours.
I got lucky just when I was ready to give up on life I met my wonderful husband through my only good friend at the time. Her help and belief in herself thought me some great lessons in life and I will be forever grateful to her. She saw that I was a good person, good fun, a person who could be successful in life with a little guidance and although she was as young as me we really were like chalk and cheese. Her career was taking off and mine was very stagnant. She thought me how to believe in myself again and introduced me to my husband to be. He immediately picked up on the negative thinking and thought me how to change that.
It took me years to really change and even now I have low moments. I finally realized that I should change my career and try to find something that I enjoy doing something that I am passionate about. I spent years chasing a good income putting up with poor work conditions and taking poor treatment from bosses who really should have known better.
I always tell others now find something that you like doing or at least something that you are naturally good at then try to build your career from there. If you need to up skill then get a plan together and get as much advice as you can. Sounds obvious but why do so many of us ignore such practical advice. For many reasons I suppose, I was consumed with not being poor and chased jobs that paid well, but this led to years of feeling unfulfilled in jobs I hated and that I was not very good at, just to pay the bills.
Being made redundant was the best thing to happen to me ever!. I finally had a chance to take time out to figure out what I needed to do what would make me happy and still generate an income for me.
Read, study and then try to apply what you had learnt and keep repeating the cycle until you figure out the real you and truly manifest at least some of your dreams.
My hope for myself, for you and everyone out there is that we find who we really are what our purpose in life is and that we learn how to attract it to ourselves and finally find happiness and fulfillment in life. Nothing else matters.